To someone I LoVe

I still can’t believe
That you chose to leave
I wear black over my heart
I can’t help
But grieve
And watch my chest heave
Up and down
At the spazmic sound of my cries
My will to live dies
And nothing seems real to me
You now being heartbroke
Chokes my air
And running appeals to me
It feels to be
An easy way out.
Facin my pain again
When youR hurt
I revert to
Just to know how to console
I insert my soul into a hole
And convert my now inner peace
Into pieces
And exert all my work
to your consolation
but youR tastin
somethin more bitter
than what I know
but are you really perched
somewhere I can’t go??
I don’t even know what you’re thinking
Or if you’re drinkin
Hopin it’ll all go away.. . .
May I stay
In the fray
of your mind
Hold your hand
Stop the sand
Of the time
Spell you name
In blue flame
And warm rain
Lay there still
Play a game
Or proclaim
to take aim
at the pain
shoot
till it’s maimed
and retrained
to longer inflict
what it claims.
I’d look you in your eyes
And promise you all
My heart stops beating
Just one tiny stall
Az I call on the wind
And the fiery stars to come blast
Do away with your tears
Down to the last
But they’ll last. .. . ..
They havvvve too
Cuz you can’t cast the vast past
Aside
Cuz it reside
Azzzz you
So I pass you
And you think I don’t get it
Or think I don’t care
those last two sentences sear me
Those I can’t bare

-JuLez (November 9, 2005)