We need You

I keep seeing September 12 everywhere, and I'm like Hey! It's my birthday!!.. . I guess I was born 25 years ago, and 25 is suppose to be a pretty good age I'm told. I woke up this morning and I did feel a little bit older. Al little bit wiser. And definitely, a little more mature. Hahahahaha.
So no great birthday extravaganzas this weekend, though there was suppose to be Saturday night, but as things turned out, I was up all night Friday, with not a second of sleep, and then I was up all day Saturday till about 6pm, and then I slept for 16 hours.. .. . . who says you can't hibernate?? I'm hanging tonight with just one other person, I think, and I'm goin to for real celebrate my birthday next Saturday at some local hiphop show that's goin down with live rappers and breakdancers. So that'll be all good too!

I learned something really important this weekend that's going to help me for the rest of my life, and it's something that would be easy for me to say I already knew, but the depth and profound meaning of the truth is almost too much. I just think about the past, and old thoughts and of all the things in my life that seem fucked right now, and beautiful things to come.

The thing is that when you're livin for God and trying your realest to do what you understand as being His will, then you're suppose to be thankful for everything that comes your way, and a lot of the time we're really grateful for all of the great things that come our way in the best of times, and then when shit gets fucked, there we are asking God for some serious help. And then at those times we feel guilty for only goin to God when things are messed and terribly tough. But the things is that God loves us so much, He wants us to be with Him and in constant relationship with Him all of the time, especially when we're in a bad ass jam and feel overwhelmed and screwed. Like. God Loves us so much, He wants the best for us. And when we need His help, it's because we need His help!. And He gladly helps us. And He doesn't make us feel guilty about it. That's some devilish trix goin down, cuz guilt is not a gift from God, but rather an impediment towards a better relationship with God.

So I've found that there is nothing wrong and there should be no feelin bad for only goin to God when you need His help. He will help you each and every time, to the degree your life is suppose to be and in His way, but that faithful trust in him will also lead to seeking him in the normal times and in the really really good times, and then always being with God (not that your never not, but in a true ongoing way). So we should never feel bad about that, and actually go to Him right away, and really, actually, all the muthafuckin time.

AND. We we die and give up our self made purposes and life plans to do God's will, we become extremely grateful of all he grateful things and blessing we are given. They are so apparent and feel so good. But what we need to realize is that, just as those things are meant for us, and are to be. All of the crazy hardships are equally important and special gifts from God and we should take them just as joyfully and with the full understanding that that is how things should be, and thank God for that, just as much as everything else, and truly be joyful about it, even if it's hard and it hurts.. . . That is so ideal. But it doesn't mean we have to be smiling, just that we have to be humble and accepting of aLL of God's gifts. Which happen to be absolutely everything.