Even As a cRacK FienD

and even as a crack fiend mama,
ya always was a black queen mama
I finally understand
for a woman
it ain't easy—
trying ta raise a man

- Tupac, in the song Dear Mama






What y'all want?
Unconditional Love
no doubt
Talking bout the stuff that don't wear off
It don't fade
It'll last for all these crazy days
These crazy nights
Whether you wrong or you right
I'm a still love you
Still feel you
Still there for you
No matter what
hehe
You will always be in my heart
With unconditional love….. .. . .

Come listen to my truest thoughts
my truest feelings
All my peers doing years
beyond drug dealing
How many caskets can we witness
Before we see it's hard to live
This life without God,
so we must ask forgiveness
Ask mama why I got this urge to die
Witness the tears falling free from her eyes
Before she could reply
Though we were born without a silver spoon
My broken down TV,
show cartoons in my living room

HEY!

One day I hope to make it
A player in this game
Mama don't cry
long as we try
Maybe things change
Perhaps it's just a fantasy
A life where we don't need no welfare
Shit with our whole family
Maybe it's me that caused it
The fighting and the hurting
In my room crying
Cause I didn't want to be a burden
Watch mama open up her arms to hug me
And I ain't worried bout a damn thang
with unconditionl love

In this game
the lesson's in your eyes to see
Though things change,
the future's still inside of me
We must remember
that tomorrow comes after the dark
So you will always be in my heart…. ..
with unconditional love

- Tupac, Unconditional Love


You will always be in my heart. With unconditional Love… . . I remember driving to work one morning down this road that’s a pretty straight strip on the way out of town, cuz I use to work 15mins outuv the city and it was an early morning deep into winter so both sides of the road where just snow with little mountains on either side from what had been pushed off the road and it was really black out cuz the sun wasn’t anywhere near. And I was just crying so much. Life was so tortured and I felt my heart being ripped from the veins in my chest. Being twisted and pulled mercilessly. I couldn’t have cared less about anything. Life seemed as empty as the dark fields of snow, and in my head I was drivin to a place where I was goin to print money for a fat white man, that was sitting behind a mahogany desk, who had pig like features with a cowboy hat, sharp demonic teeth, a revolting laugh, and sweaty palms. While little kids stared me in the face and one by one, without a word, told me that they were dieing because of me. Because of us. I told them I was tryin to help, but didn’t know how.

There before my eyes I could hear the cries of people yelling for freedom. Marching in unison with every hair, fibre, and cell in their body gleaming with brilliance of white gold, and then fallin one by one into the river of blood as I cried out to the heartless mechanical soldiers. Cried out from my kneeling position with my arms full stretched towards them pleading for them to stop. Just knowin a bullet was soon to hit me.

I drove down this road on my way to work crying uncontrollably, and this song would make me reflect on everything that my parents have done for me to be alive. For me to be an engineer and now be making money for this rich oil company. I thought of how they escaped imprisonment, torture and death, and I had lived a sissy life. This song gave me so much strength and Love for my mom. I understood what GOD’s unconditional LOVE means. And I resolved not to ever give up. I put the song on repeat, and still I get too lost in my thoughts to learn the lyrics. But I can still sing along. With unconditional love.